Chem-E-Wocky (Were Lewis Carroll a Chemical Engineer)

 

‘Twas ambient near the propane stove

(Use Kelvin, never centigrade)

All flimsy were the ratios

The samples poorly weighed.

 

Beware the Navier Stokes if done

While using spherical coordinates.

Disdain to extrapolate, and shun

Logs of negatives.

 

Taking Perry’s with both hands

He sought fugacity to plot

‘Til resting in a centrifuge

He separated thought

 

While opening his heart to the second law

The Geankoplis, with heat exchange

Came crashing through the study lounge

And bubbled in phase change

 

Egads! Egads! It’s copper clad!

Conducting heat to dissipate.

He estimated magnitude;

It returned to steady state.

 

Hast thou diffused the molecules?

Those mass eddies in transient state.

And thus endured the plug flow blues?

It’s time to celebrate.

 

 John Stuhmer